Posted on Jun 20, 2014

The Top Internet-Related Support Questions, Answered (Humor)

The Top Internet-Related Support Questions, Answered


Below is a list of internet-related technical support questions that were seriously asked on the web. It’s a lighthearted list but it does have one serious point: if you see the humor in these support queries, statements and questions then you are probably capable of setting up your own website.


1.      Who owns the internet?


There are several variations on this question but they all revolve around the premise that someone or something owns the internet. Some people who call technical support departments ask to have the internet installed, and sometimes they ask how much the internet discs cost. But here are some favorite “doesn’t know what the internet is” questions.


“Will the Internet be open on Memorial Day tomorrow?” – this one is a bit cute, actually.


“When I sign up, do I need to be home so you can come out and install the Internet to my house?” – still thinking of the internet like it is a software program.


2.      Content


Everyone knows that there is a lot of pornography on the internet but some don’t quite grasp how it works. One technical support call demanded that all pornography be removed from her version of the internet. She specifically requested that it not be programmed in.


This has been a common theme through the years as internet providers shoulder the blame for the content on the internet, not just their ability to deliver it.


In one incident a customer complained that they could not access a webpage. The technical support worker talked the customer through accessing pages on other websites which all loaded fine. Reasonably the technical support worker concluded that the website that the customer was trying to access was down. The response was a request to fix it so technical support explained that they did not own that site or most of the other websites on the internet so could not fix it. The customer answered with: “What do you mean you can't fix it? You are my internet provider. You should be able to fix it. Let me speak to your supervisor. You're stupid and trying to brush me off.” You may want to be careful who you call stupid on (or off) the internet, these days.


3.      How do you spell dot?


This one has been a problem for technical support workers for as long as technical support workers have existed. It started off with the spacebar, i.e. type something then space then something else. The technically-challenged would write s-p-a-c-e instead of leaving a space between the words.

This language challenge now has a new frontier on the internet and it is all down to the dot (.). Many technical support works have had the experience of someone typing in w-w-w-d-o-t-i-p-a-g-e-d-o-t-c-o-m instead of It just comes with the territory.


That said it is better than trying to explain to someone where the spacebar is on the keyboard (which happens as well).


Another regular complaint in this area is when passwords don’t work. This is one that most of us are probably guilty of though – the caps lock is on. At least it’s better than emailing passwords to people who shouldn’t have them (yep, this happens too).


You Are Savvier Than You Think


So the next time that you think that you lack the technical knowledge or the skills to create something on the internet, think of these hapless web users. As long as you know that Google is not the internet (another common misconception) and you can use web tools like Facebook, Pinterest and Gmail then you’re probably in a better spot than most.